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After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had:1. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. Protect your own heart Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance.

Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife.

Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.3.

Fall in love over and over again You will constantly change.

Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.16. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time. Truth is, If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love.

Be fully transparent If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds…Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be. Never stop growing together The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship.