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Microaggressions are comments or actions that unintentionally alienate or demean a marginalized person or group.

These include, but are not limited to, saying things such as “You’re [insert positive adjective] for a black girl! ” These may seem harmless to some, but they’re actually symptoms of deeper problems rooted in systematic oppressions that black women face daily.

Though racial microaggressions are felt by every marginalized group within the dating realm, I am building upon my own personal experiences with heterosexual, cisgender white men to offer suggestions on how to ease racial tensions that may arise in a white man/black woman pairing.

Once, I was at a bar with friends when two white men approached me.

I wish I could say that I’m surprised and appalled by the ignorance that white men tend to show when they approach me, but I’ve come to expect it.