Hell, you’ve been hitting the gym for the first time in forever. Friday night’s still the lonliest night of the week and you’re stuck at home, wondering what the hell it is that everyone else has that you don’t. Who cares how much you work at “being confident” or not being “the nice guy”, none of it’s ever gonna help. and more importantly, the ones you should have and why. It showed in the way I spoke – too quickly, my voice a little higher than my natural register, sounding as though I were pleading rather than speaking.
You’re not gonna cure cancer, win the lottery or sleep with Scarlett Johansson just because you Let’s look at the attitudes that hold you back… I wouldn’t like me either if I were you.” It showed in my posture – hunched over, compressed, eyes anywhere but on the person I was talking to.
As Japanese girls tend to live with their families well into their 20s, ensuring she doesn’t “offend” her parents may rate higher on her priority list than the cute gaijin sending her Line stickers.
While not all Japanese girls will make a final judgment on dating a foreigner based on their income level, some certainly will.
Image is high in Japan; look around and you will hardly see a girl not dressed to the nines.
among geeky guys who’re trying to get better at dating. Girls are just gonna keep throwing themselves at assholes and you’re stuck at home while everybody else in the world is having you undoubtedly have been bombarded with messages about how your mentality and your attitude can affect your success in life. Raise your hand (metaphorically speaking) if you’ve ever thought something like this: “Women don’t like me because I’m too _______” “Only ______ people get what they want.” “If I do _______, people will figure out I’m a fake.” “There’s no point in ________, it’ll never work anyway.” Any of this sound familiar? God knows it showed in my attitudes towards women, equal parts desperation and resentment.
There’s a lot of you venting your frustration about your dating lives, in your letters to me and in the comments on the blog. These are what’re known as self-limiting beliefs; ideas that become so entrenched within your sense of self and identity that they’ve become of you. The few relationships I have were unhealthy; either I stayed in relationships that had turned toxic because I didn’t think I could do better or spent my entire time consumed with the idea that at any moment I would get the dreaded “We need to talk…” as my girlfriend realized that she could do better.
It’s not just conversation that makes this a turn off either. Very few couples are interracial, and of those that progress to marriage, the overwhelming majority are actually between a Japanese man and a foreign women (source).