Dating violence message

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"What you’re seeing in those text messages is quite typical of the pattern of in abuse in many domestically violent relationships." From frantically keeping tabs on his partner's whereabouts to blaming her for issues he is having with the relationship, Mac Donald says Adam has all the tell-tale signs of an abuser.

His accusation of provocation, in particular, is a "gaslighting" tactic many abusers use to make their victims second-guess themselves, she explains.

"It’s important for women, particularly for young women, to understand that the situation they’re in is domestic violence, even if physical attacks are not occurring." According to Macdonald, coercion often underpins abusive relationships and surveillance via technology is becoming an increasingly common tenant of abuse.

She noted new apps, GPS built into vehicles, hidden cameras and webcams as some of the tools of modern abuse.

"It’s important that people understand that often it’s the point of separation from a relationship that is the really risky time, and when you see women and children murdered it's almost always when there’s been an approach to leave the relationship of she’s recently left.

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    Pick an activity where you won’t have to talk the entire time, like a movie or a sporting event, Kalish says. “The longer you go,” Kalish says, “the more problems you run into.” It should be a no-brainer to avoid thumbing your smartphone during the date. You miss out on the body language and facial cues that will give you a better idea of how she really feels.

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