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“Why bother trying, I’m just going to suck at it anyway.” “I’m going to fail at this.” “This isn’t going to work.” Negative self-talk like that sets a person up for failure, which reinforces their sense of self-loathing and shame.

It also prevents them from taking part in anything that might bring them joy or fulfillment, since they’ve convinced themselves ahead of time that they’ll suck at anything they try.

As soon as that happened, they would begin to heal… They might decide to dislike a peer at work because they think the other person is valued more highly than they are, or more likely to receive the promotion they want.

They may lash out at a romantic partner for talking to another person because they think the other is “better,” more attractive, or more successful than they are, and that their partner will leave them for the other.

A person might have a collection that they add to whenever they have cash to play with, or they’ll go on shopping sprees in the hope that maybe, just maybe, this new stuff will be the magical key to making them feel fulfilled instead of hollow and full of shame and self-hatred.